I always say that after a cancer diagnosis, its about finding a 'new normal'. The first time I had primary breast cancer I spent some time wanting my old life back and trying to be who I was. I definitely felt like I had lost the old me. But I quickly realised I needed to treat life like I had been re-born and given a chance at life and needed to embrace it. I soon found a new way of life and just felt so grateful for each day I was in remission. I always knew that there was a high chance of the cancer returning and very much felt like each day I had in remission was a blessing. I made it my aim to find something every day which made me feel happy. Of course, there were bad days, thats life! Stuff happens!! But at least Im alive to experience it. The cancer returned last year as secondaries and I completed treatment in August which was quickly followed by a hysterectomy. Once I had fully recovered and my test results came back showing that I was in remission, I felt a huge wave of relief. I know that the cancer is almost definitely still in my body, but it is effectively hiding. My blood tests are incredible. Not only have I gone into the 'normal' range on my marker tests but they have continued to fall even further which is unusual. My CT Scan in December was clear which is unbelievable. The problem with having had secondary breast cancer is that treatment never ends and life becomes complicated. This time I was 're-born' after treatment I needed to get used to another new way of life. This time it includes a trip to hospital for one day every three weeks so I can have basic tests and blood markers done followed by receiving a targeted treatment by IV and also a bone strengthening injection. I am in remission and this is so incredibly wonderful but I do still need ongoing treatment to keep me in remission. This comes with a few side effects but it very tolerable and is only a minor inconvenience as far as Im concerned. I just get on with it and that's very much my motto. I don't do the whole feeling sorry for myself thing. I just want to embrace life and live it to the absolute max. If that means I need regular treatment, well that's fine. I keep life as normal as I possibly can. Some of my nurses do find it quite entertaining the way I arrive at the hospital on a treatment day and set up my laptop and spread out my work and in moments I'm completely engrossed in my emails or writing the magazine. As far as I'm concerned, I'm just at my other 'office' surrounded by people I know. The bubble is usually 'popped' when a nurse places a urine pot under my nose and asks for a sample!! Not exactly the norm when you are working! Lol!! It makes me laugh so much!
I drove to the hospital and was checked over. My Oncologist said I was wheezing and he too suspected a chest infection but because of my history of having had secondary cancer he decided to do a CT Scan. I was due a CT in a couple of weeks anyway to see if Im still in remission. At the moment Im scanned every 2-3 months and blood markers every 6 weeks. My last set of blood markers were really good so its unlikely that the cancer has returned. But we have to be careful and Ive been coughing since Christmas.
So that afternoon I was put through the CT Scanner. I wasn't expecting to be at the hospital all day and as I was being scanned, I found myself pondering on what I needed to prioritise doing in the short amount of time before the school run and things like the shopping list and what I was going to do for dinner were running through my mind!! Lol!! I did wonder if I had lost the plot??!! Maybe! At the end of the day, I can't change the results and I know that whatever happens, we will find a way to deal with it. I like to live life to the full and just get on and enjoy it and deal with results as and when they are given to me. We have everything crossed in the hope that Im still in remission later today.
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AuthorI run the Barrowby Bamboozler. I spend my time writing puzzles backwards!! Archives
October 2017
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